So as I said before, my life has gone through some significant changes. Here is a short summary of the summer before all the shit hit the fan.
I finished up working at the renaissance festival and got my certification as a Yoga Teacher. It was exhausting because I had Yoga school from 9 am to 6 pm Mon-Fri and then on Sat-Sun I had work from 9:30 am to 6 pm. No breaks. Then I started going to college finally, about an hour away from where I lived. It was fun enough, but I smoked way too much for my classes, once I found a few stoner buds. I still had good grades though at the time.
Fast forward to a few months later and it seemed like my whole life was flipped upside down. I found out my grandparents were lying to me about very huge issues for the past decade, so I was angry. I tried to bottle it up so that I could still live with them, but that only lasted for so long. It all blew up one day and I got kicked out. I had no car and barely any money, so I was freaking the fuck out - to say the least.
Anyways, I called up my mom and she got her friend to drive me out 2 states over to her house. So then I had to deal with the questions of "how am I gonna stay in school?" or "how am I going to regain some independence?". The short answer is no. No to both. I tried to stay in school by switching to online classes and live stream classes. But my grades were quickly failing due to the ungodly amount of technological errors in all subjects. So I kept trying and realized the mountain of work was only growing. I had a choice between staying in classes and trying to pass, or dropping out and it not affecting my GPA. So after trying for two months, I chose the latter option. The school was really amazing about it and gave me a full refund, they also promised my GPA wouldn't be affected because of the extenuating circumstances.
I also tried to maintain my freedom, but living with a mom doesn't work that way. Now I go to weekly Kingdom Hall meetings, despite how much I hate cults. The religion is annoying and it targets vulnerable people like me, so I am making sure to listen to ex-witnesses often to avoid brainwashing. I also desperately want to get back to Colorado, however, my mom is afraid I would fail if I did. She also doesn't want to let go. I can't blame her entirely, I guess.
The holidays are nothing but Debby-downers in my eyes at the moment because not only have I been disowned by my grandparents, but also most of my family. They say I'm not welcome to visit for Thanksgiving or Christmas. It really hurts, to be honest. Usually, the holidays are the one good thing I can look forward to every year. And when my parents are Jehova's Witnesses, Christmas is forbidden to them. I am trying to respect it but it's hard. I was gonna try to make it down to Colorado to see my friends for Christmas, but I don't think I have enough money to do that. :/
The town I am stuck in is sucks. There's no one to really make friends with cause most of the down are meth-heads, Amish people, and Jehovah's Witnesses. I don't think I need to get into why none of those groups of people would want to make friends. It's lonely, to be honest. And I miss my friends so deeply. I miss interaction, work, and school. Everything about Colorado that I loved isn't here. It's in Colorado.
Right now I am looking into getting my medical marijuana card, how to donate blood, and registering to vote to maintain some of my beliefs when her religion wants nothing but to take them away. Haha, I'm just a little rebel. I also got my social security sorted out which is nice for now, until I get back on my feet. I'm trying to work for some of the local Amish people because they pay fair and it will help me be less bored. I'm also in the process of applying for section 8 (gov housing) so that I can try and get back to Colorado. It's so expensive there, but it's my home. That's where my heart is.
Anyways, I just thought I would explain the hiatus. It's 4 am so I am gonna go to bed. I'll try to keep blogging but maintaining motivation to do anything anymore is really hard.